The term “soft life” originated by Nigerian influencers has started to resonate with other demographics, specifically black women. My definition of the “soft life” based on research and personal experience is living a life of ease and without stress. It means that throughout the chaos in life, there is peace within yourself and your life despite the chaos surrounding it. Making your life a soft and peaceful one. More popular definitions have been centered around living a luxurious life surrounded by wealth. While some may beg to differ I personally believe this is not the main focus of living a soft life. I only agree that living a soft life is luxurious because luxury can be whatever you make it to be. You could live a luxurious soft life by simply having a self-care night once a week with your favorite products. I do like the idea of luxury being classified with soft life living because of the association the soft life era has with black women. For decades, black women have been classified as harboring anger and having to be strong at all times no matter the circumstances. This new era though will change the narrative for black women and as a black woman I love that.
One controversy that also surrounds this era and plays into the idea of soft life living being associated with luxury is capitalism. Due to many believing that in order to live a soft life you have to own the most expensive cars, purses, or high-end products many consumers spend thousands and thousands of dollars to put up this façade of their own and call it “soft life living”. The problem with this is that diminishes the idea of this era for those who cannot afford to have the most luxurious products. It confuses them and all and all puts down their own ideas about this and might even discourage them from living a soft life themselves. This is why many influencers on platforms such as Tik Tok have spoken out against these negative connotations that surround soft life living. Kimora or otherwise known as The Embodied Goddess on Tik Tok does a great job of explaining this in the video below.
She discusses the negative cognitions about soft life living regarding luxury and the need for a relationship to even be considered a soft life. She states “ Soft living point blank period is about living in a state of ease and doing it with grace. It’s about denouncing hustle culture. It’s not about luxury culture. So many people are out here living a soft life and do not have luxury items. It’s not about buying. Capitalism is not soft living it’s actually anti-soft living.” She furthermore discusses how relationships have been associated with soft life living and discuss how soft life living could include a relationship aspect but that it is not about that. I personally agree just because of how relationships are portrayed in the media to be the source of everything in one’s life and that simply is not the case. You do not need to be in a relationship to have a soft life whatsoever and I believe that is another reason why soft life living gets a bad reputation.
Lastly, I wanted to discuss some ways that I personally lead a soft life in my own way. Every day I try to find peace within myself and not from anything else or anyone else. I engage in activities that bring me happiness and ease. For example, I love doing my night routine consistently which brings me peace. It’s not the most elaborate routine with the best products but it’s my own way of living a soft life because it provides my life with peace and ease. I also am patient with myself. I allow myself to make mistakes and to move past them because if I don’t I will not be at peace with myself and therefore not at peace with my life. I am still growing though and I want to discover new ways to lead a soft life so this is only the beginning.
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